Current mood:	sore
Current music:	prayer chants, coming from the common room

On Good and Evil
On Good and Evil: Private to londo_mollari and invisible to all other muses unless Vir happens to be in the room when the message arrives.

Mollari-

I received your collection of papers some days ago, but, as they seemed to possess neither cohesive structure nor coherent thought, I was at a loss as to how to respond. Then the computer informed me that this week we are discussing the notions of good and evil, and I immediately thought of you.

The journey to Minbar was uneventful, though I did use the opportunity to get aquainted with some of my would-be protege currently serving aboard White Star 16. The crew was almost entirely Minbari, with a handful of Humans to give the impression of a multiethnic staff. While the Rangers on the whole are equal-opportunity, I believe that the White Star fleet comprises largely Minbari officers, though whether this is by accident or by design I cannot say. Either way, if we ever doubted that Minbari were dull as paint, the journey put that matter to rest quite soundly. They work, they pray, they train, and they sleep. After three days among them I was wishing I had brought along your sword, that I might impale myself and be done with it. Yaaarrgh! Infuriating people, Minbari, but very wise.

However, it is the Humans who have drawn my interest, as what they lack in wisdom they more than make up for with a fierce desire to learn, to grow stronger, to do better, to do more. They do nothing by halves, these Humans. And I have also put to rest a matter of similarly long debate, and can quite expertly inform you that the Humans possess both skill and stamina in the acts of passion, though they lack ingenuity, but perhaps that comes with experience. There is a young man here called Pierce -- I do not recall his given name just at the moment -- with whom I have been spending my nights (and not a few days!), and who has taught me much about Human physiology and athleticism.

He has also, almost, allowed me to forget about you.

So what is good? Good is unbridled passion, lust, adventure, curiosity, and drive. Good is the desire to learn, a willingness to change one's mind, a willingness to open one's mind to new ideas, a willingness to say "I was wrong!" The Rangers possess these qualities in abundance, and I am grateful. Good is the freedom to stand before the universe unencumbered and unbiased, to admit that we are all children here. The Rangers are good. Their acceptance of a universe that is far greater than they are -- and their willingness to take responsibility for it, for all of it -- from the lowest of the nonsentient beasts that crawl in the mountains outside Tuzenor to the cruelest of warfaring races that ever took to the stars -- makes me glad beyond words that I have come here to join them.

So what is evil? There is no evil, Mollari. At one point, I thought there was, and I would have sworn that the Centauri embodied it with you as their figurehead. I was wrong. There is no evil, just degrees of foolishness, of stubbornness and bias and stupidity. The very concept exhausts me, even now. I have reached a time in my life where I no longer wish to tolerate it, and I believe I have earned the right to close my ears to foolishness in its many forms.

Tonight I teach a class in comparative barter-system economics of pre-jump races. Even the curriculum bores me, but I shall do my best to make it somewhat interesting to my eager pupils. It seems I am a natural teacher, or, at the very least, people seem to consider my instruction worthwhile, so that is a small comfort. After that, Mr. Pierce -- Adam! That is his name! I shall not forget it again! -- has plans to instruct me in a form of Human martial arts, and then, I suppose, I shall attempt to school the boy in more inventive methods of pleasuring an insatiable Narn. Good luck to me on that front.

(It is interesting to note that the Minbari have a rather progressive policy on mating and recreation among the Rangers, though how they get to the entertaining parts with all those rituals and prayers remains a mystery to me. I think I shall not be taking up with any Minbari men or women, for I rather fear I do not have the patience for it.)

To the matter of your letters. I am glad to hear that Mr. Garibaldi has offered to help you bring Human workers to Centauri Prime. I think that is a wise move, and I hope that you will find, as I have, the great depths of generosity and passion that these Humans have to offer. I pray that your people will be receptive to it.

And so I leave you to your devices, to your stubbornness and your destiny. I have tried one too many times to convince myself that you are anything other than what you are, and, as I said, it exhausts me to do so. And I cannot allow myself to think of you in any other way, because too much of me still cries out for you, my heart, my body and soul, and I cannot surrender to the pain. For if I do, I cannot breathe.